home sweet home
but when does home become a distance memory?
when does home seem unreal?
when does home seem unreachable?
the warmth from home is what i miss most
i can sense it now, the light on the balcony
the long drawn out shadows in the front yard
the laughter and smiling
the warmth thats slowly creeping out of the very windows we left open
the lights fading and going out as we let the darkness inside
the laughter slowly deceseing and becomes complete silent
the smiling haulting and becoming blank dull emotionless faces
once the sweet has washed away from home what does it become?
home sweet home isnt so sweet anymore
t
this way
and
that way
life is full
of choices
decisions
directions
and
more
people telling
you
where to go
which way to turn
life cant
always
be easy
we werent promised
an
easy life
we were promised
a life
simply a life
a possible life
a life worth living
in the end
not easy
but
worth it
as i wake up screaming again
from the same nightmare i have every night
i think of this nightmare
how vivid and real it feels
how much i wish it would go away
this nightmare follows me around where ever i go
even when im awake im trapped
in the continuous nightmare im so afraid of falling out of
this is all ive known
if it leaves me know what will i do?
i cant imagine not being scared in the dark
i cant imagine how it feels to wake up refreshed
this nightmare has becoem my life
i work around my nightmare
i try not to get in its way
im changing into my nightmare
into the monster that haunts me day after day
night after nig
lost mind racing people talking thoughts flying lights flashing skin tingling hands sweating face reddening
people yelling people cussing tripping spitting on you
all at once
people you thought you could trust people you thought were different
you stand there and take it all
you never stand up for yourself
you let them walk all over you
until one day
you blink and realize you are worth so much more than they think
you take a step
the first step you have ever taken on your own
your feet are heavy
your hair stand on end
the people around you stand back
they look at you and start to yell louder and spit on you even more
you keep
Here I sit in my room. I see nothing but 4 walls here, 4 walls that never will fall or move. There always in my way. I can move but no matter where I go or end up the walls come with me. There is no escape from this room. From this cage, box and barrier. The only thing I have in my room is the sand I stand on, and an old fashioned chair that is to fragile and old to sit upon. I don't want to sit anyway I want to escape this prison. The sand is my only relief, it is one of the only things that made me really happy when I was little. Every time I get upset because there is no way out I build a castle. This made me think about the ones I use to
Dear Alex,
I am terribly sorry to tell you this, but I think we should stop seeing each other. I know this is not fair, but I can't keep lying to my husband. Every since Billy died I knew it would be hard to deal with, but I never wanted to cheat on my hubby. I am so sorry again, but I need to stop this before it goes too far. The last couple of weeks have been helping me with copping. But I know that it is not the right way to cope. I need to talk to my husband about it not you, I am sorry I have put you through so much. You really are an amazing guy, thank you for being there for me. I need to get more help to deal with Billy's death, he
The headlights were coming straight toward me, and I couldn't move. I had always wondered what death would feel like. I had so many near death experiences, but death never came. Every time I got close to dying a little piece of me inside just never let go. Hope has kept me alive for so long. How could I just give that up and give in? As I stared straight ahead into the light my life started flashing before my eyes, or so it seemed.
I flashed back to the first time I ever felt abandoned. I remember everything about that cold December day. There was about a foot of snow on the ground, fresh snow. The temperature was above freezing, probably a
home sweet home
but when does home become a distance memory?
when does home seem unreal?
when does home seem unreachable?
the warmth from home is what i miss most
i can sense it now, the light on the balcony
the long drawn out shadows in the front yard
the laughter and smiling
the warmth thats slowly creeping out of the very windows we left open
the lights fading and going out as we let the darkness inside
the laughter slowly deceseing and becomes complete silent
the smiling haulting and becoming blank dull emotionless faces
once the sweet has washed away from home what does it become?
home sweet home isnt so sweet anymore
t
this way
and
that way
life is full
of choices
decisions
directions
and
more
people telling
you
where to go
which way to turn
life cant
always
be easy
we werent promised
an
easy life
we were promised
a life
simply a life
a possible life
a life worth living
in the end
not easy
but
worth it
as i wake up screaming again
from the same nightmare i have every night
i think of this nightmare
how vivid and real it feels
how much i wish it would go away
this nightmare follows me around where ever i go
even when im awake im trapped
in the continuous nightmare im so afraid of falling out of
this is all ive known
if it leaves me know what will i do?
i cant imagine not being scared in the dark
i cant imagine how it feels to wake up refreshed
this nightmare has becoem my life
i work around my nightmare
i try not to get in its way
im changing into my nightmare
into the monster that haunts me day after day
night after nig
lost mind racing people talking thoughts flying lights flashing skin tingling hands sweating face reddening
people yelling people cussing tripping spitting on you
all at once
people you thought you could trust people you thought were different
you stand there and take it all
you never stand up for yourself
you let them walk all over you
until one day
you blink and realize you are worth so much more than they think
you take a step
the first step you have ever taken on your own
your feet are heavy
your hair stand on end
the people around you stand back
they look at you and start to yell louder and spit on you even more
you keep
Here I sit in my room. I see nothing but 4 walls here, 4 walls that never will fall or move. There always in my way. I can move but no matter where I go or end up the walls come with me. There is no escape from this room. From this cage, box and barrier. The only thing I have in my room is the sand I stand on, and an old fashioned chair that is to fragile and old to sit upon. I don't want to sit anyway I want to escape this prison. The sand is my only relief, it is one of the only things that made me really happy when I was little. Every time I get upset because there is no way out I build a castle. This made me think about the ones I use to
Dear Alex,
I am terribly sorry to tell you this, but I think we should stop seeing each other. I know this is not fair, but I can't keep lying to my husband. Every since Billy died I knew it would be hard to deal with, but I never wanted to cheat on my hubby. I am so sorry again, but I need to stop this before it goes too far. The last couple of weeks have been helping me with copping. But I know that it is not the right way to cope. I need to talk to my husband about it not you, I am sorry I have put you through so much. You really are an amazing guy, thank you for being there for me. I need to get more help to deal with Billy's death, he
The headlights were coming straight toward me, and I couldn't move. I had always wondered what death would feel like. I had so many near death experiences, but death never came. Every time I got close to dying a little piece of me inside just never let go. Hope has kept me alive for so long. How could I just give that up and give in? As I stared straight ahead into the light my life started flashing before my eyes, or so it seemed.
I flashed back to the first time I ever felt abandoned. I remember everything about that cold December day. There was about a foot of snow on the ground, fresh snow. The temperature was above freezing, probably a
Today must be the day
the day where my life will turn around
today my life will become what i want it to be
today is the day
the day where i take back control
take control from the demons inside
today is the day my life becomes mine
today my friends is the day the struggle ends